Saturday, December 24, 2005
we spent the whole of yesterday night and today together. spilled everything out to each other..
he picked me up at my home and patiently waited outside for me until i finished editing the song for the competition. by the time i was done, it was already 12.30am and he had been waiting for me under my block since 11.20pm. we went off after i was ready and walked from my place all the way to civic centre mcdonald's. sat there and finally had our talk. he started talking and asking. i was actually trying my best to dodge it all. blame it on my ego lah!! both of us started pouring out all our frustrations, our insecurities, our thoughts... until one point when we just kept quiet to just ease down the tense pressure all around us. it was drizzling, and being the typical girl that i am probably am, i got cold. seeing that, he pushed out a chair beside him and told me to sit there. i was hesitant at first but i relented in the end. seconds passed and he asked for a hug. i looked at him....
and guess what i did?
i burst out laughing and immediately flung myself at him!!! hahahaha... i seriously don't even know why i laughed during such a tense moment.
so there he was on his seat and me on top of him, hugging each other like as if we've not met each other for years, and he whispered the sweetest thing. "I love you...". in the midst of crying, i replied, "I love you too............ i've missed you so much....". i was surprised that he was crying when i heard him trying to say "i missed you too..". gosh, it was truly a moment that i'll never forget. i mean, just imagine him sitting and me on top, hugging each other tightly and crying, and the drizzling rain all around us. now that i think of it, it was sheer romanticsm. :) he invited me back to his place and proceded to walk to his place. while walking, i asked him why he asked for a hug. "You were cold and i was just waiting for the right time. i love you and you love me right??" at least this is most of what he said. i can't seem to remember the rest!! because i ended up pushing him to the wall and kissed him right there and then!!!hehehe...
we continued talking things out in a more calm manner after that till near morning. i had a very good sleep with him beside me. i didn't even wake up until 2plus pm!! didn't even feel like waking up but had to because i had to send SLV's song to mediacorp for the competition. we definitely had lots of laughter and fun just now. my chest has been lifted off of any problems and is much more easier to breathe now.
honestly, i feel much more closer to him now. the relationship's stronger than ever and the dilemma seemed to have bonded us even stronger. i can finally feel him opening up to me more. no ones knows how much that means to me. for more than a year, i've been getting him to try to talk more, laugh more, smile more, express more and it seems only now that my efforts are paying off. and i finally understand how he feels and where he's coming from now. i should have put myself in his shoes before.
now, everything is crystal clear and i can see everything much much better. things are looking up for the both of us, especially for the coming year. like he said yesterday, "i think we need to push this relationship up to a more mature level..." and he's right. maybe late next year or 2007, we'll get engaged(to make our relationship more official and accepted). we'll probably get married after the both of us turn 25, insya'llah. if things turn out much better than expected, we'll tie the knot earlier. if not, later then. no use rushing into marriage if we're not prepared right?
but one thing that i cannot imagine is how he is going to propose to me when the time comes. hahahahha... seriously, i cannot imagine it!!! i don't even dare imagining him going down on one knee infront of people proposing or what not. hahahaha... oh well, who knows... i might end up being the one proposing to him instead eh?? hahahaha...
oh well, now to a less vomit-inducing-menyampah story. the competition is this sunday!!!!!!! sheesh, i am so nervous. i am actually quite unsure if we can win top 3 because there are so many other groups in the finals that are really good. i can only pray for the best....
baby, thank you for making me believe in myself again. thank you for understanding and for being the most sweetest and romantic boyfriend i can ever have. you're my dream man... MY man.. always.... :) i love you with all my heart and soul baby, no doubt about that!! muacks muacks muacks!!!!!!!!
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