Monday, December 19, 2005
how does someone mend a heart that's hurting?? he's asked for some time apart. all because of me enjoying myself this past weekend. i went to chinablack with akin, jun, yanni n fozie on saturday night and apparently, he didn't receive my messages saying that i am going. and yesterday, i had dance practice before heading off to meet my poly mates. we chilled until morning and when i got home, he was still awake waiting for me to get home. he kept messaging me whether i was home or not and soon after, we got into a quite intense and heated sms coversation. before i knew it, he asked for time away because he needs it. with tears dripping onto my pillow, i had no other choice but to say ok. sigh, maybe it's best we have this time apart. we may be apart most of the time anyway, but now it's totally no contact or whatsoever. we need to think things through now, if we want this relationship and if we do, what we'd want from this relationship.
as for me right now, i am sad and confused. maybe, just maybe, i am not ready for a relationship. i am only 21. he could probably be right. i probably still want to have fun and enjoy my life. argh!! i don't know but what i know is that i still love him and probably will always do.