Tuesday, September 13, 2005
wow... been away from the computer for nearly a week. that's a feat!! :)
been basically doing nothing but dancing and dancing... training for gemersik and he's been busy with his recruits and dikir. the competition is coming up this sunday and i can't wait for their performance, which i know will be nothing short of stunning. they've been and still are working hard to try and achieve something in the upcoming competition. this has been the biggest turnout so far in participants. it's going to be a tough fight. but i'm sure it means something when i can't get their song for this competition out of my damn head. hehehehe...
for myself, i can't seem to be able to put my all in my practices nowadays. i don't even know why. i'm drained and i need to replenish but i don't know how. i've had hours of sleep... even 12 hours of sleep in one go at one point of time but i'm still tired. probably because of the lack of meals?? neh... fauzi wouldn't allow me to starve myself. but i'm not drained physically. mentally and emotionally, i am. i am probably getting stressed. going through the same routine over and over again and seeing that it's never going to get finished is stressful. we've not even started on our 2nd of 3 dance routines and we've only less than 3 weeks left!! geez... i feel a sudden urge to drown myself in panadol...
and things can never be better with him. still feel as if i've got lots to know about him. makes everything feel fresh and new. the hugs... the kisses... the smses... the knowing stares and glances at each other.... it feels great to have someone supporting whatever that i want to do. no one has had this much faith in me. it always makes me want to do much better at what i decide to do. i just wish he's himself, as he is with me and his friend, around his own family. he wasn't brought up in a conducive, communicative family and that seeped into the stream of his mind and thinking. i suppose that's why i found it hard to have him talk to me about anything and even if he did, it wasn't in much detail. at times, he left me hanging but i don't mind. at least he's slowly opening up his mind to me. i already have his tender heart and i am already this happy. if he opens up his mind to me, i'd be the most happiest girl in the world.
i know i'm supposed to say that when(and if) he proposes to me but hell, marriage is still too far away for us to think about. unless he had listened to what abang qamar said, i will not be seeing myself with a ring on my left hand in the near future. i find it funny because i don't know whether to see that as a fortunate or unfortunate thing. i'm laughing in my heart right now thinking about it now.
oh well, i'm digressing.
and since i am digressing, might as well go on. hehehe....
i don't know what to get my baby for his birthday!!!!! he's determined to get me something and make my birthday more memorable than my previous, that's for sure. i managed to get that plan out of him when i threatened to take away his atm card for the main fear that he'll spend away all his pay. i tend to have that kind of hold on him. hehehe... that sweetheart of mine. if only i can convince him that i don't want his gifts or lavish dinners. all i want is for him to be near me and shower me with his kisses and tell me how incredibly sexy and gorgeous i am. heheheheh!! narcissist, i am! :)
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