Wednesday, August 24, 2005
changed my blog picture again. i hope it looks to nice to all because it really looks nice to me. hehehe.. took a lot of time to edit that picture. i like it for sure.
training with the new dancers was ok ok. we just met all of them just now so i guess we are still getting to know them. they seem fine to me. hell, i am there to just learn, have fun and make more friends. nothing better than being my blur goofy self. and fauzi seems to know a few of them too as they are from NP. well, if my baby do book out this thurs, maybe he'll be able to meet them.
on the 3rd of sept, which is a saturday, guess what i'll be doing??? i'll be on my way to the suntec dance heats!! i am darn excited and nervous. mimi decided to put my name in under the solo category and seriously, i don't know whether i'll be able to perform that well. scary lah!! i don't even know which song to use for my dance. hopefully he'll be able to be there....
the renovations going on in my home is driving me nuts!! my mom don't cook, i can't even go to the kitchen and drink water!! there's one less toilet in the house so everyone is rushing to just one toilet. for the first time, my mom nagged at me to hurry up while i was shitting!! goodness, doesn't she know that it takes time for it all to come out?!?! darn it....
the emotional rollercoaster that my relationship with him have been going through the past couple of weeks has been draining. i've become even more sensitive and he's getting more in touch with his sarcasm. are we changing? after more than a year together, are we going through the changing process that i dread so much?? to think i even tried to run away from him last weekend but he found me. easy for him when we have mutual friends. and i didn't even know the exact reason why i was running away from him. all i knew was that i was damn confused by what i was feeling and i just didn't want to face him. but the moment he found me and was standing infront of me, all of a sudden everything felt so right. having him so near me, i felt the missing piece of the 100000000+++++ puzzle in my heart have been found, fitted right in and is now a whole big complete picture. the relief surged throughout my whole body. the hard part after that was explaining to him why i was running away. sigh.... if only i knew......
but i love him... i love him with all of my heart.... he's been the only one who understands what my heart needs and fulfills it when he can. i just hope i don't turn into that emotional junk again.
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