Saturday, March 05, 2005
every relationship surely have their own demons, right? my relationship with fauzi is no exception. it's been 7 months that we are together and i pray that we stay longer than that. but with insecurities looming in by the back door, we are unaware of it creeping up behind us until it's too late. ever felt a tinge of fear when you think about losing that very one person you love so much in your life? ever lamented on that thought for too long until you realise that you are barely hanging by a thread over the deep dark hole of fear? that's what been keeping my mind occupied the past couple of days....
the fear is persuading itself into my head and i am succumbing to it. why is it so hard to fight off such dark thoughts? i wish to run away for that is the most easiest way out but how can i leave him alone? how can i be so selfish when i say that i love him with all of my heart and soul?
hence, i shall stay and fight these demons with him for i know with him by my side, that fear will never dare to step within the boundaries of my love for him.
admittingly, i am willing to give up everything for him. is this a self-sacrifice or selfishness? perhaps both... but that's what i am willing to do... just to have faith restored... just to have his love..
no more tears shed? no guarantee...
but it's with no doubt that i will always stand by you, holding your hand, side by side... loving you with every single beat of my heart...
.jpg)