Wednesday, November 03, 2004Washing over me, Engulfing me... Succumbing to it... The Temptation, the Passion.. The Lust.... The LOVE... It dawns on me.. I've sunk in too long, too deep... Salvation awaits me...
Well, I'm not a good poet at all. The above is just something that I scraped from the top of my head. Made it up when I was thinking about Fauzi. It sure doesn't rhyme. Hahaha.. Who cares?
It is already Wednesday, middle of the week. I suddenly feel my life is boring and worthless. Seriously, don't even ask me why I am feeling this way. But I just feel lonely sometimes. I don't blame anyone for this actually. Even when I am hanging out with my friends, I still feel as if something is missing. I understand Fauzi is really busy. I saw this coming ever since the beginning of our relationship. NS takes him away from me at most of the times I need someone but I am ok with it. I just need to be less dependant on others for comfort and company. Nowadays, I spend a lot of my time with myself, trying to find myself. I've not truly found my identity actually, on who I am and for what reason I am here for. At this point of my life and at such an age, to think I still have not recognised who I am among my peers. I don't stand out in any crowd and no one really truly remember me for anything in particular. But maybe that is a blessing in disguise. I have a very common face and plain personality so I guess that steers me out of unnecessary trouble. I guess all I need to do is to look on the positive side. If only someone truly need me for something, other than Fauzi. The keyword here is NEED. Seriously, I've never felt like I was needed anywhere for anything. Nothing significant about me that they find endearing and unique.
Ok, I should stop trashing myself. Saying such stuff won't help me in boosting my confidence and self-esteem.