Tuesday, October 26, 2004
12 Kawan Requests, 121 Virtual Kisses and 126 Sticky Notes. That's what I've accumulated in a period of less than a month of not clearing up those VKs and SNs because I was too lazy to do so. All VKs came from guys, with only some from those whom I actually knew. Took me more than an hour to clear all of it!!! Sheesh, so tired now from all the clicking on the ignore button except maybe for some who really deserve the reply. I can't believe how desperate guys can get the moment they see a profile with a sexy picture on it. I changed my picture from the old me to the new me and the outcome changes dramatically. There are guys who send loads of VKs and SNs and insists on wanting to get to know you, then there are some who say you are hot one moment but says you're ugly the next when u ignore them. Seems like they can't take rejection to their ego(or libido) and so react in a way that proves they are jerks. Pitiful souls... tsk tsk tsk...
Ah well, let's talk about something more uplifting..
Obviously, my weekend was spent with Fauzi. Met up with him on Saturday night after breaking fast at our own homes, walked around the bazaar for a while, bought some delicious burgers, sat down at Lover's Corner and ate, talked, teased, joked around, kissed and finally left when a drizzle came upon. Walked around Causeway Point, thought of watching a movie but the movies were too boring so we ended up following Yanni and Bob to Al-Ameen for supper. From there, he and I walked all the way to his home near the stadium and I stayed over at his place figuring out problems in his PC until 3am, in which I went home and had sahur before chatting with Dean until 7plus in the morning. It was only then I got to sleep until 2pm and got ready to meet Fauzi. Followed him to UCC at NUS to watch the PA Gala run-through, headed back stage to meet everyone else during their break, made our way to Beach Road to buy his blade cover, had our break-fast there and then finally sent him off to Pasir Ris at 10pm.
Sounds boring, doesn't it? But trust me, it was much more happening than I am making it out to be. I am just too lazy to go into details so I cut the story short. Watching the preview of the concert, it really made me sit on the edge of my seat. One part of the show that really caught my attention was the malay dance. A very active dance with all the cart wheels, legs in the air and body on the ground... dancing in perfect timing. Well, must be due to the fact that the couple dancing are really a couple in real life. And my first time hearing Abang Yaziz sing, it was totally breath-taking. Seeing them all on stage actually made Fauzi excited because he's so happy seeing them perform though deep in his heart, he badly wants to perform in that concert. I could actually feel that ache in his heart but being the typical him, he never shows it and are all smiles. Everybody was happy to see him too when they got to take a break after the run-through. Somehow the weekend wasn't that stressful unlike other weekends where we were worried about the time constraint and wondering whether we are spending enough time together. It's always best to go with the flow. A very calm, romantic and happy weekend.
You know, being with Fauzi made me realise something.
Most people are unhappy most of the time. Most people are not satisfied with what they have. Most people, let's face it, hate their jobs. And there are a whole lot of people out there who hate their own lives.
So it's funny how they hang on to life and how they are all scared of dying. Everyone is always complaining about being tired, about working too hard. You'd think that they'd actually want a nice, long rest. Fickle bunch of humans, ain't it?
I used to be like them actually. Hating my life, complaining non-stop about what I am unhappy about, thinking I deserve better. With Fauzi, I've learnt an important lesson. Once you've thought the unthinkable, the unthinkable becomes thinkable. Even doable. It was like, "I can do it!!" And I did. I've never looked back since. Inside, I feel lighter, more calm and happier. He is my inspiration and motivation to explore what I never dreamed of. To have someone to help you realise and achieve a dream or a goal, to be with you supporting you and go through that journey with you, I can only come to the conclusion that he's a godsend and forever grateful I shall be. Loving him with all my heart, caring and taking care of him is the least I could do.
Life is great though it has its setbacks but because of those very setbacks, life is beautiful for if there is no setbacks for you to overcome, then you've not lived at all. I love life, I love my friends, I love my family, I love myself and I love you, Fauzi. Love is all around me... Gives me the goosebumps sometimes. Heh.
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