Thursday, August 19, 2004
I was feeling so weak and feverish just now. All I wanted to do was lie in bed and not get up.
Fauzi called when I was taking a nap but we only talked for a minute. Two hours later, I was feeling hungry so I decided to buy food from the nearby KFC. While changing... While walking there to the fast food restaurant... While buying food... While on the way home from the fast food restaurant... While eating my mashed potato, all I could think about was Fauzi. At a time when I was feeling so weak, so vulnerable and sick, I just thought about how much I needed him at that point of time.. Wondering how he was doing in camp and wishing that he was right beside me hugging me and assuring me that I will be fine from whatever that I was down with. Then the phone rang. Since the phone was right beside me, I picked up and guess who was on the other line?? It was Fauzi. He said that he felt resah and so he called. The moment I heard his voice, I cried. Right when I needed him, he was actually there for me though not physically. I told him that I was thinking about him right before he called and he said he was touched by that and by the fact that I was actually crying. Never would I have thought he'd call just when I needed him though he was in camp. Is this a telepathy thing?? Is it the bond between soulmates? sheesh, whatever it is, it seems a bit creepy because of the fact that coincidences like this occurred not only once, but many times. He was telling me summaries of his day and the things that are happening in camp and though it was a short call, it was enough to uplift my heart and spirit. It made my day(and night!) and I actually felt much better after his call. After putting down the phone, I couldn't help but smile... smile not just any other ordinary smile but a smile of love and happiness.
But then, something happened that made me smile even more wider.. Made my heart fill with warmth and love. He called me again...
That actually made me giggle and laugh for the first time for the WHOLE DAY!! How sweet can he get??? That gesture touched my heart SO deep that I actually cried!! But it was all tears of joy, happiness and love. Sheesh!! I am becoming a sappy little crybaby!! But nevermind, I don't care as long as I still got my sayang to love me.
I tried to call him back but the phone was off. I suppose he was dared to do that or maybe it was just out of impulse. Whatever it is, it made me love him even more now!! Sheesh!!
For the first time, I am in love with someone who is actually making me happy even though he is SO far away from me. Like that malay saying goes, jauh di mata dekat di hati. he has been there for me each time I NEED him. I am loving every moment of life now because he has taught me how to see life from another angle. He doesn't realise this but he has made a great change in my life. My self-confidence is higher, my mindset is more positive, my life seems more meaningful and I finally feel as if someone DO need me to take care of him, to love him, to care for him. He gave me a new purpose to live life. People say he is lucky to have me but I say that I am the lucky one. He takes pride in whatever he do, no matter how tough it is and goes about doing it with a smile on his face. His happy-go-lucky nature could easily make anyone smile and forget their troubles for at least a small period of time, if not for the rest of the day. To him, that is an achievement than nothing at all. There is so much about him that I can say but to me, it is better for people to discover it all by themselves than having me tell it all because trust me, it will truly be worth the effort.
Sigh, I am missing him a lot. I can't wait for next Saturday to come. Maybe I will cook him something... Hmmm... But then again, with my appalling bad cooking skills, I think I should just BUY him food instead of cooking. Hehehe.
There is this one picture we took which I really love so much. The picture will speak for itself....
Still don't know what I am talking about?? Haha! His cheeky grin never fails to make me smile, even when I am upset or angry and as can be seen from the picture, I guess now you know why. Hahaha!! I just love this little sweet bugger of mine... Khekhekhe...