Friday, May 28, 2004
ok i stupidly sent him something accidentally thru msn. WHY DID I DO THAT FOR???? i never meant to send him anything!!! i never meant to say anything to him!! i was just wondering wat i wud say to him if i cud rly tell him how i feel n i stupidly pressed enter!!!!! AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!! *hunny banging her head against the laptop* i think i hav done more harm den good. i only wanted to put a closure to dis chapter in my life. i only wanted to type out wat i felt but not truly tell him!! ok i can feel my life going down the drain now.. k, more like my heart flushed down the toilet bowl. i know i shud hav just kept my fucking mouth shut!! y did i even listen to Rul? sigh... *breathe in... breathe out..* ok ok... i gotta chill... i gotta relax... AAAARRRRGGGHHH!!! let me suffer... let me cry.... but i juz gotta add on humiliation by sending him d msg to him in msn... power sak... power... *SIGH!*
Me: good morning... i need to tell u n ask u something.. i noe this may seem a bit sudden but i truly need to know so i can just put a closure or continue... so i can just move on.... sigh, here goes nothing... i still love u... dunno y but i just still love u... mite b tt u dun love me anymore but hell, watever it is i know i will always love u..
Me: oh no... i nvr meant to send u tt... oh no.. oh hell wit it.... is alrdy out... i just need to noe if u still hav feelings for me... i just need to know that.... the truth please... after that, i wun bother u again abt this...
*hunny digging a hole in the dirt and burying her head in....*