Tuesday, May 11, 2004
life is sometimes like a dream... sometimes it's like a nightmare. the most important thing in life, well at least to me, is love. how does love work? like that lah!! nobody can really explain exactly how love works or why love is like it is. it is an irony in itself. it gives happiness, joy but it also gives pain. maybe i should take things easy and let things go. let bygones be bygones cos for all i know, i am happy where i am now for i am realising my dreams, my passion. i just have no one to share this joy with and tt is, ironically, a sad thing.
the person i miss the most is i guess Mal. i am always happy when i am with him. he makes me smile, makes me laugh. his presense injects a sense of peace in me. did i appreciate him when he n i were still together? yeah i did but in a way, i also took it for granted. so i have to admit, it was partly my fault for the way the relationship turned out. talking about it now, at least it helps me to let the bad emotions go. sure i still do love him, sure i do miss him. but wat the hell. i should be moving on. i should just let my heart move on. izad is definitely a nice guy.. a very sweet guy actually but somehow my heart cant seem to open up fully to him like how i did with Mal.
wat the hell am i doing talking about Mal for?? geez, i should be moving on. i sent him a sticky note saying that i miss him n tt i wasnt happy the way things ended btwn him n me. i dont expect a reply from him at all. i am not hoping for anything. wat comes, comes. wat doesnt, den it's too bad.
fuck wit relationships n guys. i trust em wit my heart too readily only to be smacked in the face with their betrayal n lies. no one but myself to count on... NO ONE BUT MYSELF...