Monday, April 26, 2004
the weekend was just so hectic.... so tired... so stressed... n heartbreaking...
went for the brief meeting on friday evening and got to noe all the problems of all my dancers... didnt sleep the whole night trying to think of ways to help and alleviate those problems...
went to christ church secondary with shaleen, farah and hidayat to help the tarian students with hair and makeup... and attended the management meeting. quite a havoc meeting cos we didnt expect irwan(my choreographer ah!! not my former fiance!!) to turn up but he did at the last minute.. sigh long story about the meeting.. too stupid to wanna describe about what happened... after the meeting, i went to the CC for a small training while the rest of the management were having vocal training... had a small chit chat wit dem at Sembawang McDonald's before heading home and discussing with Shafiq and Ann about their situation...
then on sunday, had to go to work for a while before heading off to training at the CC at 7pm... another tiring evening.... the song irwan picked was nice but he was brain dead on the steps and i had to chip in all my steps.... so currently right now, all the steps for tt song are mine.... sianz..
for nearly four days now, i've been trying to contact Mal. i've been messaging... i donno whether he receives it or not. i've been calling countless times but he doesnt even pick up his fone. i've been looking him up in the net and been waiting for him to log into MSN but so far, he has not been logging in. now i am seriously wondering why he is ignoring me like this. what have i done wrong now??? is it because of my blog?? just wat d fuck is it??? AARGGGHHH!!! it hurts so much. just hurts so much because he is doing this to me. hurts so much because i love him... it just hurts.... finally thinking about it, i am wondering whether the tears flowing now is worth it. i wonder if he is just another guy who was just out to hurt and break my heart. i wonder if something has happened to him because i worry so much about him. i wonder why i am always played out when i offer sincerity. sigh.... i just give up.... i give up... let my heart turn cold... who cares...