Thursday, April 08, 2004
the performance dis sat is really making me nervous. and what made me even nervous is the fact the media is going to be there. and i found out abt that only yesterday!!! darn...will i be able to perform?? will i be able to dance as how i normally do?? will i crack up under the pressure? sigh, i definitely need him there but i dont think he will be coming. i dont think i will be seeing him today...his birthday. i miss him. i wish we are not arguing at the moment. i wish we are right now at the esplanade library, sitting down on the sofa beside the window with the view of the the river...juz talking, tickling, poking, hugging, laffing.... gosh i can just cry right now. i think i'll just spend today all by myself. after i get my pay from linda at tangs later, mayb i'll juz walk all the way to the esplanade and hang out in the library until it's closing time and just hang out wherever until whatever time i wish to. maybe like 2 or 3am or something. who cares niway?? i'd rather be alone than be hurting him again with my words. let me be depressed...let me lonely...let me be suicidal....at least i wont hurt anyone else anymore....
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