Saturday, April 17, 2004
all of a sudden, i feel tt there is sumtin wrong going on btwn me and Mal. i admit, i'm d type who needs to be showered with attention. if sumone remembers me, i'll remember tt person. if someone was to msg me even when he/she is bz, i'd always remember to msg tt person back no matter how bz i am. but... i feel as if i m not getting d treatment i deserve... but wat is it tt i deserve?? when he logged off msn juz now, he didnt wait till i said goodbye... n he'd normally call me darling or baby or dear..... but none of tt was seen in juz now's chat. sumthing is totally wrong... or m i juz being too over-reactive?? i definitely noe tt my PMS is juz around d corner... or is it here oredi n i juz donno it yet? sigh.... 1 moment i feel fine....d next moment i feel like crying... i think it is PMS ... n oso Mal. hmm... maybe i shud treat him d way he is treating me. i think tt is more fair. since he doesnt seem to care so much, i guess i shudnt care so much too... since he doesnt seem to bother so much abt me, i guess so shud i. ARRGHHH!!!!! *hunny so confused...* m i falling into depression?? PMS depression??
i had a dream last nite abt Mal... we were supposed to watch a movie, "the prince and i".... and i was alrdy waiting for him at causeway point cinema for nearly an hour... n i bought d tickets n waited for another hour... i nearly got uptight abt him bein late cos d movie was alrdy into its run for 15 mins and when he did arrive, one couple(whom i think i noe n gave me d impression tt dey were Mal's frens) arrived beside me and he came wit another girl whom i wont really give credits for looks n physical wise n dey were holding hands!! he even asked me if i had bought enuf tickets... i had only two tickets... n i juz shoved him our two tickets n told him he can juz buy d tickets minus two. n i walked off down d escalator crying... n tt's when i woke up... n tt was when i made a choice to see whether Mal wud msg me or not... in which he didnt for d whole day.i even messaged him once juz to see if he;d reply. i only got to tok to him when he logged in msn juz now. he told me he slept after he got back home frm a karaoke comp(which i didnt noe at all) and tt he juz woke up. hmm seriously wat m i supposed to think now?? m i supposed to get suspicious?? am i supposed to be suspicious?? sigh...