Tuesday, March 23, 2004
i dont even know why i feel so down right now. i feel like crying juz to let off this small ache in my heart. i just seriously dont even know why i feel so down but one thing i know is that i really need irwan so badly at the current moment. as i am typing away, tears is just flowing down my cheeks and it feels so hot on the skin. i was really hoping to meet him tonight but can't because he dont wanna b late for a medical checkup the next morning. he also gave me that reason too when i had asked him whether he'd like to talk tonight. that was when i just started feeling down and....lonely. i replied him back,"Oh.nvm den.gdnite and sweet dreams den.cya." it was only then tt he called me my hp, maybe wondering why i seem like out of the norm. but i didnt pick up. i just silenced it each time he called because i had lost the will to even pick up the fone to say hello. but i had to finally pick up his call when he called my home. he definitely sure was wondering why i was acting differently...more quiet. i just didnt feel like telling him the real reason y. he definitely sound cheerful on the other side of the line tho. i just cudnt bring myself to tell him how i felt cos i know it will just ruin his mood. ah damn....pain..pain...pain in my abdomen area. i hope i can see him tomorrow tho, if he doesnt decide to hang out wit the insurance person(who turns out to be a woman) or go home straight after that. i so badly wanna go out with him. the last time we went out was last sat.even that, it was wit his parents but if not for his mom tho, i dont think we wud hav even met on that sat to go out.
i just feel horrible at the moment lah. i need to get out.
.jpg)