Tuesday, February 24, 2004
thruout da whole day, i juz cant stop thinking about him....whether he had taken his meal...or whether he is tired from work....or whether he has taken his shower.....but da bonus question is, does he think of me? tears up my heart each time i think of him. when i told yam abt it, she said dat he doesnt seem to hav some kind of enthusiasm for the relationship. for sure, he will not call or message me and i suppose he will never till da end of time. of coz if anyone was to confront him abt it, he's juz gonna say dat i am da one who wanted it. which girl who loves her boyfriend will want to let go of her loved one unless the other person doesnt want her anymore??..sigh, i don even noe wat to think anymore. love hurts real deep and dis is da point where ppl always wonder why they even fall in love in da first place. i wonder y too sometimes. seriously, if dis is how he defines a relationship, he mite very well get a gf who is more or less a statue. i can almost literally feel the pain i feel in my heart in a physical manner. i've not been hurt this bad since last year. yam kept saying she told me so and it sounds as if it is my fault. oh gosh i miss him. i miss talking to him. i miss holding his very warm hands. i miss the times he'd juz hug me so tight and carry me off my feet(since he's so tall). i miss everything. i miss him terribly. last saturday was his off day. i was hoping that he'd ask me out considering da last time we met was on tuesday but he didnt. doesnt he miss me at all? who exactly am i to him??? i am getting so confused.... i can only hope and pray that i get that citibank job tomorrow cos its long hours and intense work situation will not let me think about him. i need a job to get my mind off him. i seriously do....
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