Monday, February 23, 2004
i juz got back from my little walk and relaxing at some of da places around woodlands. almost thruout the whole time i was walking, i was juz talking to myself like as if i was mad or something. seriously wats happening to me? it gets so frustrating cos somehow dis relationship reminds me so much of my relationship wit isham. goodness wat am i to do? should i just leave him be? i know he'll never message me or watsoever. guys and their ego....seriously wats up wit dat! sigh, frustration is just clouding up my mind and i just cannot think straight now. maybe it's best that it happens now or mayb i dont even want it to happen. he is da first guy i love so deeply after such a long time. but love just hurts so much i wish i didnt even noe him in the first place. it cud hav spared the both of us a lot of hurt and pain. well more like spare ME the hurt and pain. i don think he is even bothered by it. he gives me the reason dat it's because i wanted it dats y he agreed to it. ARGH!!! y is he such a dimwit at times??? he and his 'anything' attitude. i don get it. he can definitely make solid decisions in record time for his work but he just goes wit anything in this relationship. is dat da attitude for a relationship which he initiated in da first place?? ARGH!!! great i've made myself more frustrated. i think i need to go for a walk again....sigh....