Sunday, November 02, 2003
you know what?? i think i really want to just give up on finding for love. this decision came after what happened yesterday. might seem rash but it is definitely a decision i am going to stick to no matter wat. yesterday the gang and i went to beach road to break-fast there. there was asri, shima, yan, yam(my cuz), yan's lil bro(me forgot his name), man, another guy i donno, abon n his fren. the whole thing was just fine except that everyone keep on teasing me abt in. almost every single moment, dey will keep teasing and asking me abt in. when we made our way to geylang after eating(abon n his fren had to go), i admit that i did think of in and the possibility of him coming down to geylang. and yeah sure i did get excited a little bit but somehow, the more they tease me abt in, the more it killed my mood to even think of being friends with in. as we went through geylang, the food there did help me take my mind off the teasing and i got to taste the glorious dendengs. we even took pictures and did a lot of walking in the busy and very crowded geylang. on the way home, they made plans to lepak at grandcity. when we reached wlands, man, shima and asri made their way there first as yan, yam and me went back home first to shower and change. near to 2 hrs later, the 3 of us reach grandcity and abon had joined da gang. my head was in a spin at that time and so i kept quiet to myself most of the time. it was later that mail, ijat, imran joined us at our table before in arrived 15 mins later. throughout the whole period of time i was there, i kept getting teased, asked abt and they even made space for in to sit beside me. by dat time, i was rly very irritated and it only made my headache even worse. yan even kept telling me to go and talk to him or watsoever but i just cannot b bothered to. by the time me, yam and yan had to go home, i was alrdy in one of the baddest moods i could ever be in. on the way home, i msged asri to tell abon not to matchmake in n me as for sure i noe in will never like me. abon msg me back saying he nvr knew the story till dat moment and dat he never intended to do anything. i replied back saying ah gd, cos 1 thing i hate most is false hope n i hav given up on relationships. at ard 5plus in da morning, in msged me. he said that he was sorry if he had ever hurt my feelings in any way n dat he wasnt aware of the gang's intention n dat he only wanted to befriend me. i cant b bothered to reply back n i only replied at 8plus am saying dat it was da guys who kept teasing n asking me abt him as if i m his gf n i got fed up so i wanted to set da record straight. seriously, rite now i rly hav given up hope of even thinking abt a guy romantically. i wash my hands of even trying and just leave it in the hands of fate and destiny. i really cannot be bothered with it anymore....
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