Saturday, November 08, 2003
as days pass by, the more lonely i feel in my heart. somehow i have always been feeling like this even when i was with zul. talking abt zul, i met him when i was walking through the wlands bazaar. ain saw me walking first with yam n yan rite bside me n she called out my name. i didnt even notice him n the rest there. i only noticed ain n rozi there. i went over to say hi n was about to walk off when i turned to the right and saw him right beside me! i was really damn surprised man! for the first time i see him outside on a casual note with jeans on. ah well, i wanted to go off when he just told me to hold on and he walked with me to where my cuz was at. he asked stuff but i gave him the impression that i had to go soon so he said bye.....and i walked off to grandcity. after seeing him and meeting the rest of the gang, i realised i am feeling left out. everyone has someone special in their hearts. ijat and in was so bz on the fone wit their special girls(whom they've yet to sound stead....so dumb!!), abon has his ex gf back, mail and nana, asri wit shima and yam wit yan. i was feeling so left out cos the guys left with no girls(none to my knowledge) r not my type of guys. i was feeling so lonely n frustrated inside dat i actually felt sick to the stomach!! am i falling down into depression again?? i don wish to go through it again. once was quite enuf for me and damn it, y is it the guys who like me...i don like dem as more den frens but da guys i like...dey dont like me da way i want dem to?? seriously, i dont even wish to think about relationships but everywhere i go, i see so many couples n couples to be dat i actually long for dat feeling of being hugged by someone who likes me so much. that yearning can b so much that i think it might take over me sooner or later!! i donno how to handle these kind of things.....oh god give me strength please!!
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