Wednesday, October 29, 2003
so much has happened since the last time i came in here. that guy i met in hendrix(his name is zul) became a boyfriend which i wish i hadnt agreed to be with. he is making my life quite miserable by making small unnecessary things into big problems!!! even my cousin is starting to dislike him. sure we were happy at first but he started making problems out of small stuff. he keeps going on and on and i just cannot take it anymore. everyone is telling me to just break up with him and maybe i should though it is going to be really hard. and recently(last sat nite to be exact), i went down to grandcity to meet my friends together with my cuz and her bf wit zul in tow. i could have been sleeping soundly at home if zul hadnt called me to force me to meet him at 3 am in the morning but since i was already outside and awake, i might as well go and hang out with my friends and let them get to know zul. as it turned out, zul changed his mind to hang out with my friends when he saw the type of people i hang out with (which i never will understand what he meant by the type of people) and he will feel left out. when he wanted to go ten minutes later, i sent him to a spot near a bus stop where everyone could see us and that was when he asked me if i could just accompany him for another 30 mins. i told him that if he wants me to accompany him, why not together with my friends?? it turned into an argument and he accused me of not sacrificing time for him when i can sacrifice anything for my cuz and friends. i was so angry i reminded him that i sacrificed a night's sleep just so he can meet me. after all the things i had done for him, he is seriously taking me for granted and not appreciating me. i went back to my friend's table and my friend asked me a question i will never forget. he asked if i felt happy or upset whenever i meet or talk to him. that was when i realised something that will really change my relationship with zul. i told him that it is with heavy heart each time i meet or talk to him. i guess now i know what i should do. anyway that night was also the night i met a guy i never seen before hanging out with the group. he is just so cute and i couldnt stop looking at him!! he has that sweet, innocent, shy guy look...the kind a girl can just take home to meet her parents. hehe...i also notice him stealing glances but i took nothing to it. seriously who will be interested in a girl like me at first meet?? i even told my cuz's bf that i have a crush on that guy but i wont put up any hope of him liking me. as it turns out, i found out a few days later that he had asked for my number!!! my heart was doing somersaults when my cuz told me the news!! and to think i seriously thought that he has a girlfriend and he will never be interested in me. just imagining his face makes me want to smile. hehehehe......but hey, this is just a crush.....really!! i swear!!! ermm....i think..... ????
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